Frustrated!!

Let me start by saying I really LOVE my agency and it's staff. I think they are TOPS and that they work very hard doing what they do and I am not posting this against them. I'm just frustrated!!

Back four years ago, when we decided to adopt, we included Joshua in the process and the decision. When we lost our little girl Hannah when her birthmom changed her mind, Joshua's heart hurt as much as ours did. When we sent our dossier for China, we bought Josh books about China and he went around telling everyone about water buffaloes and how rice was grown. He prays for his sister, he talks about his sister and now that we have the referral, he is so worried about how this is going to change his "I've been the only child for ten years" status in our family. He has reverted, somewhat, to a younger age, wanting his mom to hug and snuggle and to not leave him. We've had so many people ask why we are spending the extra money to take him with us on the trip and we've explained that the reasons are two-fold. One, he is a part of our family; this is as much his experience as it is ours. We are adding to our family and his life is impacted by that. The second reason is that we want him to get to experience another country while he is still young and impressionable. We want him to experience life outside the "good ole" U.S. We want him to know that the life he leads is not all there is and that others don't live that way. We want him to have an opportunity to work with a missionary in a foreign country. These experiences and exposure will make his life richer. There is also the reason that he has never been away from us for that long. When he was three, we went to a conference in Hawaii for four or five days, but he doesn't remember that. Kevin and I have always worked our schedules so that someone is always home for Josh. He can do a night or two away, but definitely NOT 16.

I asked very early on if it would be a problem for him to go along and was told it wouldn't. And, I suppose, they aren't saying it will now. BUT... I got an email today saying that he will not be allowed in the orphanage and that he will not be allowed to see or hold Ellie due to her being so tiny. And, of course, they pointed out, someone will have to stay with him (DUH!) and so we might consider that since our time with the baby will be limited. *sigh* I refuse to choose one over the other. So... Kevin and I are going to pray about it and ask that you do as well. We are hopeful, that like others who are there now, we will be able to take Ellie out into the sun and the courtyard and Josh will be able to interact with her them. I fully understand that they want to keep the little babies healthy and protect them from germs as disease must spread quickly in an orphanage, my heart is aching over this information. I am certain God is bigger than this and that it will work out.

On a better note, to celebrate our pending departure, I ordered Chinese at the hotel tonight. I'm about to open my fortune cookies, so let me share. OH MY... I promise I didn't read them first. They say:

Things are not always what they seem. It's not that bad.
and
Your magnetic personality will draw people to you this month.

Haha!

I remember a fortune cookie Josh got right after we logged in our dossier in China. it said, Your next trip will be overseas. Well, it has been a while, but Josh hasn't been on a "big trip" in a while, so I suppose that was true!

BTW, scroll down and look at those beautiful pix of my little "burrito". My friend Michelle has nicknamed her this and it is perfect. She's wrapped up tight!! By this time next week, I'll be on a plane to see her -- HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???? :-)